Yesterday I watched an amazing video-talk on TED – Brenee Brown’s: The Power of Vulnerability. It’s funny, deeply poignant and produced several bright light-bulb moments that made me see myself in a new light! If you haven’t seen it I highly recommend it. I now understand why and how I’m mutating back into the girl I was at 12. That girl is my most authentic self; she’s the Cari who defiantly wore her heart (dreams, feelings, agonies) on her face with her head upright because she knew it was harder than pretending otherwise. She was wasn’t always kind or happy (she whined endlessly about not feeling well – some things never change), but she tried to be kind and tried to focus on the positive. From the outside her life prospects appeared grim, but she was always busy dreaming up impossible adventures (a number of which we’ve actually accomplished). I want to be that me and over the last few months I have felt more like her. One can’t go backwards, but we all have an authentic self buried under whatever fears we’ve allowed to warp us out of recognition. [Read more…]
Archives for January 2014
This evening I was looking up paper dolls on Youtube (trying to get ideas for a project I’ve got forming in my head) and came across the phenomenon of BJD’s (or ball jointed dolls). These are sculptures you can dress! I found endless videos of teenagers and grown women unwrapping large packages containing their anticipated doll so out of curiosity I went in search of prices (and nearly had heart failure). The basic price is just the naked doll without eyes or wig! I’m not a doll collector (my dolls have all been rescued – they’d be offended to be labelled a collected object), but these ball jointed dolls are amazing. They come in all sorts of sizes and endless variety of styles. I watched a tutorial of someone sculpting a doll head out of paper clay and I think I’ll have to buy some clay and have go. Here’s one I’d buy if I were a rich girl… Actually I’d have to have two…He’d be lonely without a heroine to have tea with. [Read more…]
I spent most of December and the first two weeks of January mentally deep diving. I received emotional whip lash when one of my oldest friends died unexpectedly. I’ve known her since I was twelve. Her death followed a week or so after another friend’s husband died after a year long battle with liver cancer. He was a good man; a true hero! It was very sad. I bought some songs that reminded me of my friend and listened to them on repeat while I sewed frogs. I’ve no idea where the obsession came from, but late November I decided I had to have frogs on my Christmas tree. Using old sweaters and old bedpillow stuffing I covered the tree with frogs and most other flat surfaces in the living room. It felt soothing.
All the mental deep diving has had a strange positive side effect on my creative side. It’s as if all these different sides of my artist are waking up all at the same time. Whether it’s feeling mortality’s chill breath or the fact my brain is starting to heal; I’ve had numerous projects and stories churning in my brain at all hours. [Read more…]