As I don’t have children, possible repercussions of allowing one’s offspring to interact with one’s employer had escaped me until my sister Becky relayed an incident that happened last week. Her husband, my favorite brother-in-law, had to fly to Seattle with his boss and several co-workers for some business. They were all leaving from the boss’s house to drive up to the airport together. My sister had the idea that it would be nice to take the children over to say goodbye to their father. I forgot to ask her why they hadn’t said goodbye earlier at home. Suffice it to say there was my sister with her kids leaning out the window of the car (doutless trying to escape) when the middle child, who’s seven, shouted out to her father’s boss…, “When are you going to give my dad a vacation?” The boss, unfased, replied that he’d encouraged her father to take time off etc. which I suspect was a barefaced lie as he doesn’t complain when his work-o-holic employers work themselves half to death.
My sister has a truth-fairy on her hands. The condition runs in the family (I think this condition has a genetic origin – feel free to disagree). As a truth-fairy, I’ve finally come to understand that truth isn’t a zero on the mathamatical line between positive and negative numbers. Truth is a diamond that has many facets which together create something larger than we can see individually. This fascination is reflected in my writing. I love exploring the truth of situations and characters through various viewpoints.
I’m still learning when to refrain from sharing my facet of truth. As my Goblin tells me, “People don’t want to know you disagree. They don’t want to know you think their philosphy/belief/plan is stupid or wrong…they’re only asking your opinion because they want you to agree with them.” He’s right as usual, but for a truth-fairy the sharing of one’s facet of truth can be compulsive. One day I may become the proverbial wise fool who remains silent, but I suspect to reach that stage of verbal developlemt I’ll need to be in a coma. In the mean time I’ll be sharing my truth.
Marcy Coate says
Cari! I loved “Lucky in Love” and I’ll be joining as a member so that I can read all of the others. I hope you finish the story about the Duke of Strathmore SOON!
Like you I find it difficult to keep my mouth shut when people ask for my opinion or advice, but I will TRY to keep your Goblin’s wisdom in mind the next time…! Last time I said what I really thought it came close to ruining a good friendship 🙁
an American in Italy
Hello Marcy! I’m so glad you enjoyed Lucky in Love and welcome to my regency universe! 🙂 The Duke of Strathmore does have his own story, it’s called “Love’s Revenge” and I have started it, but it’s been incubating for a while now. Some stories seem to need a long gestation period, I don’t know why. The heroine is the Miss Jenney mentioned by his son. Strathmore learns the true meaning suffering when he sets about taking revenge on Miss Jenney who has the gall to point out the awful truth (I hadn’t realised she might be a truth-fairy)that he hates his son because deep down he blames himself for killing his wife (by making her pregnant)and it’s less painful to lie to himself and blame the boy. In the end by trying to ruin Miss Jenney’s life he’s the one who suffers most.
It’s not easy being a truth-fairy! I know not everyone wants to know what I think, but if someone asks me point blank what I think, I will tell them. This has ruined several friendships, but in those instances I think it was best to say the truth even if they never talk to me again. I think sometimes being a friend and caring about people is saying what doesn’t want to be heard. I still care about those people even if they don’t want to spend time with me or talk to me. The door’s open if they want to be friends again, if not…I have other friends.
I’ve had honest people tell me things I didn’t want to hear like when my husband told me that drinking Dr Pepper (the caffein) actually changed my personality and he didn’t like the person I became when I drank it. I didn’t want to hear that and I kept drinking it, but I thought about it over time and eventually I decided to never drink caffein again because I want to be me not some drug-induced psycho and if he’d never mentioned it I’d still be drinking it and he may have divorced me…not a happy scenario! Sometimes it takes time to give in and see ourselves from a new uncomfortable perspective, but even if it takes years to accept it, knowing the perspective exists gives us the option to change where ignorance just leaves us in ignorance which may be detrimental to our emotional well being. Perhaps it’s being a truth-fairy, but at the end of the day I’ll error on the side of honesty (as I see it) and let the consequences roll.
Speaking of truth-fairies, you may enjoy An Unlikely Hero. John Smirke (a narcissist who’se avoided truth all his life) meets his uncomfortable match when Joan, the ultimate truth-fairy enters his life.
It took me years to figure out who would fall in love with John Smirke but I found her and she adores him, as long as he’s not being horrid…